Be Seen for Who You Are in Process

“No one wants to be seen for who they are in process.  Be seen for you are in process.  Embrace your process.” -Travis Gerrald?

This is a mantra of sorts I have adapted in my professional career.  More on this later.

Let’s rewind to some of my first memories of being “in process”: church solos, swim practice, and tee ball.  

As far back as I can remember, my mom was active in helping lead the children’s choir at our church.  This choir was no joke.  We’re talking about 50+ kids who are taught to sing loud and proud!  I was in probably the 1st grade when I had my first solo.  This terrified me.   I was not a good singer like the rest of my family.  I was quiet, and did not want my voice to be heard.  For much of my life, I ran from this process.  I did NOT want to be seen for who I was in process.

I have very vivid memories of swim practice at my childhood pool.  Mom would drop me and my brother off and the panic immediately set in.  I was not good at swimming, and everyone would see that.  Mom was leaving to go to the grocery store and I thought that if I pitched a fit, I could not be seen as a bad swimmer.   Unfortunately, this attempt to hide delayed my process in learning to swim. 

Ironically, around the same time, I joined a tee ball team.  Now this was something I could get onboard with.  I went to practice.  I could hit the ball off the tee.  I could catch a ball better than most.  I got to play first base!  For those of you who don’t know, this is typically reserved for the best catcher on the field at that age.  This was a process I could be seen in.  After all, it’s easier to be seen in process when you are one of the more naturals in the given activity.  

Beyond these memories there were certain areas growing up where I ran from the process,  i.e. public speaking, playing an instrument, or talking to girls.  There were other areas where I ran towards the process , i.e. art, sports, or trying to be cool

As I look back, I realize how easy it is to gravitate towards the things we are naturally good at.  At first thought, this sounds like a good thing.  Move in the direction of your natural abilities. Career coaches define your sweet spot as a combination of what you’re good at, what you’re most passionate about, and what makes money.

They aren’t wrong.  They just forgot to include the many benefits of being intentional with life choices and pressing into hard things.

Fast forward 25 years and I have finished PT school.  Keely and I have paid off debt and we moved to NYC.

I was receiving mentoring at a clinic where everyone has the certification I was aiming for.  Furthermore, the clinic happened to be the first clinic in my career that was fee for service which means they do not directly accept insurance for services provided.

The pressure was on.  I was there to learn, but somehow was tasked with building a caseload of clients as the least qualified clinician.  Why would someone want to work with me when they had other much more qualified clinicians to work with?  They might see me for who I really am and not how I want them to see me.  I wanted to be seen as competent, smart, and an already finished product.  I wanted my mentor to continually pat me on the back and to tell me how good I already was as a clinician.

I did not want to be “found out” as a fraud.  

I did not want to be seen.

Of course, I was not a fraud.  I was in process and that is OK (because we all are).

It was during this period of time that I realized my identity was totally wrapped up in how I wanted others to see me.  I idolized being seen as a competent physical therapist much in the same way that I had idolized being cool, good at art, and sports earlier in life.

Something had to change.

It was around this time in NYC that I began reading several books on personal growth and wellness.  

It became clear that finding my purpose in how other people viewed me, when multiplied over time, could become a ball and chain that would lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout.

I needed to affirm my purpose in something outside of myself.  And I did.

At Congruency, we embrace process.  We attract intentional and compassionate learners who don’t take the opportunity to help others lightly.  We attract clients who want to put in the work to get better.

The beauty is, every team member gets to choose what process they embrace.  Once they find their path, however, they are also challenged to be seen while they are in process.  We acknowledge growth occurs oftentimes through pain and discomfort.  This may take the shape of being OK with not being amazing at a technique during mentorship time, teaching a manual therapy training to other PTs, or even leading a weekly team meeting or quarterly planning meeting. 

In addition, we encourage our clients to do the same.  It is our job as therapists to communicate, with their help, what we view is their process to greater physical health.  Once agreed upon, it is our client’s job to do the work.  To be seen for who they are in process.  To embrace their process.

So whether you are a physical therapist or someone who has an active injury, I hope this post will encourage you to be more intentional about which process(es) you want to become more intentional about embracing.  

In fact, if you reference this blog post, I would love to offer you one of our clinic shirts which simply says “in process” on the front.  We view this as one way our team and clients can be seen for who they are in process.

in process t-shirt at Congruency

Here’s the mantra again:

No one wants to be seen for who they are in process.  Be seen for who you are in process.  Embrace your process.

Repeat it to yourself.  Steal it for your own purposes.  It can be really helpful if you let it!

Oh… and if you need a little more motivation, here is a song that has also helped me press into discomfort and embrace the process.  Of course, this is from my time living in NYC.