“It’s the hard way, but it’s the right way…”

Balanced. Ambition.

Two words seemingly in opposition to one another.

Two words who some might say should never sit next to one another in a sentence.

Two words I NEVER would have put together earlier in my life.

Growing up, I aligned much more with balance than ambition.  My family lived a very simple, humble, and balanced life.  I did all of my homework during class so I had plenty of spare time to relax or play sports in the evenings.  I never kept a calendar because why would anyone schedule their life in such a way where they would need one?   I tended to live moreso on the backbeat of life and was actually pretty content living in this way.  I made pretty good grades, I was pretty good at sports, and I was pretty cool (or so I thought!).

The simple life certainly has its advantages.

Stress is low.

Over commitment is non-existent.

Free time is abundant.

Life. Was. Good.

Until it wasn’t.

Fast forward to the spring semester of my senior year at Clemson (Go Tigers!) where I realized I had no idea what I was going to do with my life.  It was during this time that I decided to apply to physical therapy school because a degree in Health Science isn’t exactly conducive to avoiding more education.

I applied to the 2 in-state PT schools and… didn’t get in.  Failure.

I then realized I was missing some prerequisites to apply to most PT programs, so I decided to take on a bit more debt (while deferring my loan repayment).

I applied again.  This time to 7 schools.

I was accepted into one school, Elon.  Yes..WIN!!  This balance plan is still working.

Elon was a blast.  Grades were good.  I studied more than college but still not a ton.  Still very cool… and met my future wife, Keely.  Oh and not to mention, I bought a road bike, goldendoodle puppy, and studied abroad in Italy – That government money grew on trees!!

Enter the problem:  STUDENT DEBT.

225k of debt and a 65k starting salary.  This is not a good ratio.

Combine this with the fact that my new girlfriend (who I knew I wanted to marry) was going to have no debt and great understanding of compound interest and we had our first true defining moment.  It became clear I had to take my financial life more seriously.
I had to learn about money… fast.  I had to learn how to spend as little as possible and put as much as possible towards debt.  I had to learn about compound interest.  I had to learn to budget.  I read Total Money Make Over.  I read Rich Dad Poor Dad.  I read The Richest Man in Babylon.  I read the Mr. Money Mustache blog.  

Keely saw that I was willing to learn and grow.  She liked it.  She was willing to embrace this mountain of debt with me.  We married!

Enter the solution (or so I thought):  AMBITION.

Pure balance was not going to get me out of this situation.  Ambition was.

We worked overtime.  We kept people's dogs.  We mowed neighbors' lawns.  We reduced our price per meal to under $3.  We said no to friends… A LOT.  It worked – We were able to get out of debt in under 3 years.

This was… empowering to say the least.

I went from being on the backbeat of life to starting to feel like I could actually make things happen.

Goals became reality.

Options began to increase.

We moved to NYC to pursue continued professional development for 2 years.  I worked… HARD.  I completed the first truly challenging professional thing I had ever done in my life: Certification in Functional Manual Therapy®.

We moved to Charlotte to start Congruency and feel incredibly thankful for the people who have been drawn to this beautiful thing we are building.  

My favorite movie to this day is Hook.  There is this one scene where Robin Williams who plays a grown up version of Peter Pan is on the phone with his business partner executing a private equity deal.  His son is being… well… a child… and making crazy monster noises and making his shadow larger and larger on the wall.  He makes some sudden noises and Robin Williams freaks out telling his family he is working on the “deal of his life!!” Tells his wife to get his kids out of the room.  His wife then approaches him, grabs his phone, and throws it out the window into the snow.  She then goes on to tell him the following words:

“Your children love you. They want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack may not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that, you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast, Peter. It's a few years, then it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.”

The irony.

All these years, this has been one of my favorite lines from any movie I have ever watched.  I was so drawn to this character in Peter Pan (the child) who is bound to never grow up.  He has that childlike wonder.  All is well.  He is cool.  He is good at things.  He has a following.  He does pretty well at all the simple things in life.  He has very little stress except those silly old pirates and the fact that he can’t seem to chase down that shadow of his.  

Enter Hook - The movie, not Dustin Hoffman. (Captain Hook)

Peter Pan meets his future wife.  (The motivation!)

He leaves Neverland. 

He grows up.  Ambition starts to creep in. 

He becomes successful.  

He has beautiful children.

Ambition starts to take over.  He takes calls during his daughter’s school play.  He misses his son’s baseball game.

And then… the moment happens.  The phone call scene above.  The biggest moment of his professional life collides with what would become the most important moment in his personal life.

He goes back to Neverland and rescues his children from Captain Hook learning how to FLY and FIGHT and CROW in the process.   

He learns how to be a kid again.

The story ends with him safely back with his entire family with such an incredibly happy moment of gratitude and perspective on what is most important in life.

Something tells me that if the story continued, he would take this perspective not only from a balanced standpoint but also rediscover his ambition.

He would find Balanced Ambition.

Sheesh.  OK you guys have no idea how much the dopamine is flowing in my body right now.  I could write about this topic all day.  Maybe one day I will tell the long version.

The problem is living a life of Balanced Ambition is HARD.  It’s not a fairytale.  It is hard work each and every day.

To end this lengthy post I want to talk about a concept I read about when reading the book, The One Thing.

It’s the idea that in our lives, we have glass balls and rubber balls that we are constantly juggling.  The glass balls may represent our marriages, our family, and the things that we define as things that when they are dropped - there is some amount of permanent damage or even shattered forever.  The rubber balls represent all the things that, when dropped, typically bounce back.  These things may include our jobs, our fitness, our friendships, etc.  The beauty is you get to define your glass balls and may be different than mine!

If we value a life of balanced ambition, we must make sure we tend to the glass balls above all else.

What are your glass balls?

What are your rubber balls?

Over the past couple of years, I have had some moments where I was treating my family and marriage more like a rubber ball than a glass ball.  Most notably, I would talk about Congruency excessively during family time and lack presence in my time with my wife and with our kids.

I was becoming a grown up version of Peter Pan.  Someone who holds Ambition over Balance.  Someone who can mistake a glass ball for a rubber ball.  The realization began to feel like a dagger.  A dagger that was not congruent with the man I want to become.

Congruency ambition can easily creep in as a perceived glass ball.  You see, I love this business.  In many ways it is like having another child.  There are so many great purposes Congruency is serving for our team and our clients.  It is not, however, a glass ball. 

I am currently in the process of being more intentional about this juggling act.  A process that will be ongoing.. forever.

For me, glass balls include my faith, marriage, and parenting.  Rubber balls include Congruency, community/relationships, and health.

These are the “buckets” or “categories” I am choosing to invest time and energy into.

It is not easy – I feel like anytime I try to improve at something in life, the pull to do the easy thing gets that much stronger.  

The hard way is often the right way.  

The life pursuing balanced ambition will always be a work in progress but it is my hope that holding this as a value for our company will inspire others to do the same.  Some seasons will require more ambition.  Other seasons may require more balance.  Just like it can be hard to embrace this idea personally, it can also be hard to embrace professionally.  I hope we can and will continue to live into the hard way of supporting our team through this lens both personally and professionally.

Here’s to the creativity required to pursue a life of Balanced Ambition.

Written by Travis Gerrald PT